I'm in that postpartum phase right now where the maternity clothes are way too big but I still can't fit in my normal pants (well, not without severely restricting my breathing, anyway.)
Emotionally I'm about in the same spot . . . trying to fit our new life into a manageable routine for everybody but not really there yet. We're all still getting used to our new family roles, attempting to get enough sleep, hoping to accomplish the necessities of daily living (shoot, out of toilet paper AGAIN? And where are my clean socks??)
I think the most difficult adjustment for me so far has been in my relationship with Lilia. Thorsten's parents are here and have been doing a good job of keeping her occupied, for which I am grateful. Still, at times it seems as though I am missing out on big parts of her day that I previously shared with her. And it has been very hard when she does want me and can't have me . . . when Johanna is nursing and Lilia stands at my knee saying sadly "I want to come on your lap, Mama. I want to sit on your lap too." Or the other day when I asked her what we should do in the afternoon and she said, wistfully, "I want to go to the playground just with you." Ouch. Enough to make me writhe sometimes. And then Lilia has been extra thorny lately, and getting her to cooperate with anything has been a real struggle, and many of our interactions have been anything but positive . . . "I'd like two helpings of motherhood with a large side order of guilt."
OK, Johanna is waking up so I guess I will finish my musings later . . . another thing to get used to again with a newborn . . . never getting anything completely done . . .
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